Tuesday, November 14, 2006


Hiya....Thanks to those of you who inquired about me! I am fine, just have been pretty down the last couple of weeks, so I didn't want to just blog about depressing stuff. For right now I'm just taking things day by day.

Destiny has taken to peeing in the bed, which frustrates me to no end. She went SO long after going into "big girl panties" full time without having a single accident. I'm talking at least a good couple of months! Now it seems she's wetting the bed every two or three days!! Despite the fact that we've both told her that if she has to pee while in bed, that it's okay for her to get up and go to the potty. I'm at the end of my rope, so starting tonight she'll be back in pull-ups at night. She's not happy about that, but we gave her several chances, then told her that if she wet the bed once more she'd be back in them. Very aggravating...

I still don't have my copies of pics of the kids from Halloween. Need to ask Dad about them. Man, I wish I hadn't forgotten to take my camera with me!

Still haven't heard from my supposed best friend at all. I guess it really is over, as much as it pains me. It's actually a big part of this depression I'm in right now. She was not only my best friend, but pretty much my ONLY friend. I'm so shy that it is very hard for me to make friends, plus it doesn't help that I don't really trust people anymore, due to shit that's been done to me in the past. I'm not gonna go into detail about any of that, but let's just say that the trust wasn't lost overnight. I am usually an optimist, looking for the good in everything and everyone, but now....I just don't know. Heh...I was talking to MrKB the other day, and said to him, "How sad am I that all my friends are in my computer??" He laughed about it, but y'all know what I mean. On my MySpace, I have like 74 friends....several of them are family, but every one of them (with the exception of like Kenny Chesney and Garth Brooks) is somebody I know online one way or another. Well, there are a few from high school, but that's it. In real life? Nobody.

Enough of that. That's exactly why I haven't blogged in a couple of weeks. I don't want to sound like a loser who is looking for a pity party!

Anyway....so Blogger keeps telling me to switch to the "new version". I haven't yet because, well, I just don't like changing things I'm used to, and I haven't been too sure about how well it worked. You know, being "beta". How many of y'all have made the switch to the new version? How do you like it? Does it seem to work well? What kinds of new features are there?? I may go ahead and switch if y'all think I should. I just want some of your opinions first.

Not a lot going on with me, really. I've got a boring life! Haven't been able to go out without the kids in quite awhile, since our regular babysitter has been so sick most days due to brain tumors. Just haven't been able to find anyone else to watch them. I sometimes hate being at home all the time. Sometimes I really miss the days when it was just me and MrKB, and if we wanted to go somewhere we could, without worrying about what to do with the kids. I know I'm not the first one to feel like that by any means, and don't get me wrong, I wouldn't go back to those days for anything! I waited way to long to be a Mama! Just can't help but miss it sometimes.

So, for now, I leave y'all with a song that kinda says what I've been feeling lately. Please give it a listen!

"Holding Back the Years" by Simply Red

Holding back the years
Thinking of the fear I've had so long
When somebody hears
Listen to the fear that's gone
Strangled by the wishes of pater
Hoping for the arms of mater
Get to me sooner or later

I'll keep holding on
I'll keep holding on

Holding back the years
Chance for me to escape from all I've known
Holding back the tears
Cause nothing here has grown
I've wasted all my tears
Wasted all those years
And nothing had the chance to be good
Cause nothing ever could, yeah

I'll keep holding on
I'll keep holding on
I'll keep holding on
I'll keep holding on
So tight

I've wasted all my tears
Wasted all those years
And nothing had the chance to be good
Cause nothing ever could ohhhh yeahhhh

I'll keep holding on
I'll keep holding on
I'll keep holding on
I'll keep holding on
Holding, holding, holding

That's all I have today
That's all I have to say


Monica said...

Ok, I was looking for your email address because this was taking so long to come up. It's funny, I thought about sending you a card yesterday before I realized you had posted but didn't have an address. If you have a PO Box you're comfortable sharing, I can exchange addresses with you but if not, I understand...hey I'm a mom, too...just like you. :)

The bedwetting? Has someone upset her? Maybe she overheard something about the adoption process and misunderstood thinking she was going to have to leave? On the other hand, my daughter went through that for a while and the pediatrician told us it was our move....she was 2 and we moved from California to Texas.
Take care of you. :)

The Girl said...


I have 'net' friends too with only a few 'close' girlfriends who seem to be all over the place so I don't see them much these days. I love my 'net' friends as much as my 'real' friends .. I think you tend to build up a bond ..

As Monica suggested .. I think it might go deeper than just an 'oops I've wet the bed again' .. she might be going through something emotionally. Try not to be too frustrated by it all though .. I can talk!! LOL I remember Jacob doing it and it drove my crazy!! Washing those damn sheets all the time. argh.

Love ya honey!!

MamaKBear said...

Well, if she's upset by something, she's not saying! At almost 4 yrs old you'd think she could tell us how she feels, but she doesn't. For the most part she is a happy-go-lucky kind of child.

Still gonna go with pull-ups at night again for awhile, til she gets it under control. Otherwise I'm washing the sheets and stuff every two or three days! LOL

Yeah, and I'm a lot closer to several of my 'net' friends, let me tell ya. At least on here I can say what I really think! I don't always do that in real life...I tend to let people walk all over me and take advantage of me.

Hugs you two! Thanks for being there...it means a lot!

SignGurl said...

Oh sweetie, hang on! I promise things will get better.

As for the song, it's one of my absolute favorites and got me through some tough times.


Bekah said...

My life has been nothing but DRAMA lately. The bf and I broke up, he did some pretty mean things to me afterwards and I am still hurting. I am trying to pick up the pieces and move on but it is so hard.

I am glad you are hanging in there...