Wednesday, November 30, 2005

My 7th Half-Nekkid Thursday

Gosh, time flies! Can't believe it's been almost two months since I joined in on the fun of HNT.

I've been married for going on 11 years now. I've been trying to get pregnant for the better part of the last 12 years. It's obviously not working!

When we first found out about the kids needing a home due to my BIL and his girlfriend losing their parental rights, baby girl had been born and was still in the hospital since she didn't have anywhere to go. She spent 3 weeks in DHS limbo basically...until we came onto the scene.

When we got the call from the caseworker telling us to go pick up our baby from the hospital, I couldn't do anything at first but stand there and say "Oh my god" and cry. I was so happy! Here's a little baby that I get to take home from the hospital...nobody else has ever been Mama to her but me. She is the light of my life, my precious baby girl....

And now, here for an HNT appearance.....her tiny little baby feet! I can't get enough of them...I love to kiss them and tickle them and hear her little baby giggles. :) Oh yeah...I made the pic black-n-white just for the fun of it!

If you don't know what HNT is and ya wanna get in on all the Half-Nekkid fun....ya gotta go see the Grand Poobah of HNT: OSBASSO! Just click on the half-nekkid chick on the red button in my sidebar. :)

How Counseling Went...

We went to counseling the other day already pissed off and expecting things to go lousy. Surprisingly enough, it went a lot better than we expected.

Counselor started off by talking with us privately, and the first thing she asked is how we felt about how things went at court. How did she expect us to answer??? Obviously we weren't happy about it...I more or less just let MrKB answer that one, for fear I'd say something I regretted. He basically told her we felt like we were attacked over the whole smoking thing. He told her that our smoking was not the reason we were there, that the kids were the reason for court that day.

She brought up the bonding with me thing again...said she has no concerns whatsoever about MrKB, but that she's still concerned about me. Big surprise. At least this time I was able to tell her about some of the things that he and I did together when we had him this last time.

Then we went to have our session with 5yr old. Basically all that happens then is we all go to the playroom and she leaves the room for awhile and leaves us to play with 5yr old. Then she comes back and she'll sit and ask 5yr old what he thinks of things, like staying at our house. He always answers "Fine." I don't know what she expects him to say, really. One very good thing that happened though, is while he was telling her about us watching "Ice Age" together...I had given him a bowl full of little marshmellows to snack on while we watched. He said, "And Mom gave me some marshmellows." She asked him who he was talking about when he said "Mom" and he pointed at me! I was surprised 'cuz I'd never heard him call me that before. She asked if he ever had, and I said that was new, but MrKB says he has before...usually when we're in the van, so I probably never heard him. So that right there was big points for me!

The overall tone of the session was good, and I left in a much better mood than I was when we got there.

One thing that's been happening lately since having 5yr old on these visits, is 2yr old has taken to calling me "Dana"....ugh....I've told her it seems like a million times that I am not "Dana" to her, I'm "Mommy", yet she's still doing it. Not every time, but often enough, and I wish she'd quit it. Anybody else ever have this happen with their kids??

Saw This at Femi's...

Your 80s Heartthrob Is
Kirk Cameron

Toooo funny! Back in the day I had his posters plastered all over the walls in my room! I had the biggest crush on him...

Monday, November 28, 2005

One Holiday Down...

Whew! I've been so busy the last few days I didn't know if I was coming or going!

Thursday we went to MrKB's Aunt's for Thanksgiving. Ate lots of turkey and all that good stuff. All the kids behaved pretty well for the most part. My dessert I made came out good...not as good as Mom's, but good enough that Aunt Laura proclaimed it to be "orgasmic". LOL

Friday I had to watch my niece and nephew since they were out of school...MrKB was at work so I got to spend the day by myself with 5 kids. I was tired by the end of the day!

Saturday we went to my Grandparents' house in Enid for another Thanksgiving dinner. It was quite pleasant, really. I caught part of the only football game I like to watch on TV....OU Sooners vs. OSU Cowboys...unfortunately my beloved Cowboys got pretty much stomped. :( I think the final score was 42-14. Bleh. Oh, least they scored! So much for this year's Bedlam game. Freakin' Sooners....MrKB was happy though, since that's his team.

We had to leave pretty early from Enid to get 5yr old back home by 6pm. He was pretty good while he was with us, but for the first time, he kept saying he wanted to go home. He's never done that before, so we finally asked him "Don't you like it here?" and he said "No." Asked him, "Has somebody told you that you shouldn't like to be here?" and he said "Yes, Christopher did." Christopher is one of his foster brothers...apparently he is convinced he is his real brother. We told him that he's not...2yr old and baby girl are his real sisters...Christopher is his foster brother, and that's not quite the same. Really pissed us off that he's being told stuff like that.

After we took him home, we took the girls over to MIL's to see if she'd mind watching them for the night, 'cuz we needed a break. She did, so we went out to the casino for awhile (didn't win, but had fun) then went back home, had some tequila and "played". hehehe Yep...good times!

Most of Sunday we spent just being lazy...went and picked up the girls around 4pm...came back home for awhile, got them fed dinner, then we left to go visit MrKB's Dad in the hospital. He's not doing real well now...suffering from depression on top of everything else, worrying about stuff he can't do anything about, generally frustrated at the condition he's in. He has diabetes and cancer...his legs hurt him all the time now, and the cancer has spread to his brain. I think they've quit treating it, but I'm not sure. At this point it seems he's just waiting to die. We took the girls with us to see him, and I think it cheered him up a bit. He worries about 5yr old...really wants to see him placed with us before he goes. He is in the Extended Care section of the Veteran's hospital now...he gets to go home on the weekends, but I know he'd rather be there all the time...just can't because of all the care he needs. It just kills MrKB to see him like this and he's always kinda sad and withdrawn after we visit him. I told him he needs to visit him as much as he can now, no matter how it makes him feel to see him...Dad really needs the visits more than ever. I don't want his Dad to pass away and MrKB have regrets that he should have gone to visit more or talked to him more, or anything like that.

Sigh...all I can do is be there for him while he watches his Dad waste away.

That was pretty much our weekend...2yr old has come down with yet another cold...she's coughing quite a bit and has sniffles and sometimes a bit of a temperature. Sheesh...this is the third one already this winter. God forbid I get sick...

OMFG!!! 5yr old's foster parents have PISSED ME OFF AGAIN!!!!
Our caseworker just called....apparently we weren't supposed to have him home 'til Sunday at 6pm...just a miscommunication there. What's pissed me off is that "they" claim that he came home smelling like smoke again! There is just NO FUCKING WAY this time. We don't smoke in the van, don't smoke around him...he wasn't exposed to any smoke whatsoever. Matter of fact, we didn't smoke at all while we had him. When we went to Aunt Laura's everyone there who smoked went outside or in the garage, so 5yr old wasn't exposed to it....and that was on Thursday. Also, he supposedly said that me, MrKB and Grandma were smoking in the car. WTF??? Why the hell would we do that?!?! That's just simply not true...he wasn't ever even IN a car with Grandma, so I don't know where the hell he got that from. Yes I do...those people are either just saying he said this bullshit, or they are telling him to say it.

I am so pissed off I am shaking....and now we have to go to a counseling appointment with 5yr old and his foster mom will be's gonna take all my willpower not to smack that bitch upside the head!

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

My 6th HNT

I was really debating whether or not I was gonna do HNT this week, but decided I just can't miss it. This week's HNT is not me, I took this a couple of summers ago. My Mom has a giant flower pot on her front porch and she was in the process of getting some flowers transplanted into it. My little niece decided to "help"...this is what she looked like soon afterwards:

I really love this picture! :)

Happy Thanksgiving and HNT y'all!

Don't know what HNT is? Click the red button on my sidebar and go see Osbasso, Lord of all things Half-Nekkid!

Found Over at Opaco's...

Your Blog Should Be Purple
You're an expressive, offbeat blogger who tends to write about anything and everything.You tend to set blogging trends, and you're the most likely to write your own meme or survey.You are a bit distant though. Your blog is all about you - not what anyone else has to say.

Kinda funny...considering my blog IS purple! LOL

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Good News!!

Ok, I haven't done a good post in a few days, and I've got some news.

DHS held a "Grand Staffing" meeting this last Monday regarding our case and the kids, in particular 5yr old. This is a meeting where everyone involved in the case and a few neutral parties get together to discuss the situation. Foster parents were not included. I'm not sure why...

MrKB talked to our family support leader to find out how things went, and apparently, with the exception of 5yr old's therapist, EVERY SINGLE person there wants him with US as soon as possible!! The big issues that came up were my bonding with him and our smoking (of course). As for the bonding one of the neutral parties said "A mother bonds with a child when she cooks for him, bathes him, takes care of him, all the day to day things and she (meaning me) hasn't had the chance to do all these things." Everybody (except therapist) AGREED with this statement! As for the issue of our smoking, our support leader and our caseworker let them know we are already working to quit. It will take time, but by God, we are taking that complaint out from under them, and we WILL prevail!

Also...check this out...

Our caseworker called us and we will be picking 5yr old up tomorrow at 4pm and we'll have him until Saturday at 6pm. So we get him for Thanksgiving! Not only that, but from now on we get him EVERY WEEKEND, from 6pm Fridays to 6pm Sundays. I guess his foster parents finally pissed off the caseworker. I'm sure his foster parents are having fits about this news, but they can KISS MY ASS!!! hehehe So, even though court didn't go so well for us, the Grand Staffing went totally our way! YAY! Once we have him with us, they won't be seeing him ever again...before we were gonna let them keep in touch with him and see him now and then, and maybe even have an occasional overnight visit. Not anymore...why should we after they lied to us and have done everything they could to try and make us look bad?

The caseworker is also gonna get it worked out that the kids' 11yr old sister spends at least one night or something with us every other weekend. She's gonna talk to 11yr old's Grandfather and see about working out a schedule.

Now...for other news...

Baby girl is growing so fast! She sits herself up all the time now and has finally figure out she can go forward on her hands and knees! So now she's crawling, but only little short distances, just enough to get over to whatever toy she can't reach at the time. She hasn't figured out that if she wanted to she could crawl all over the house yet. Soon, though, I'm sure!

2 yr old is making good progress on the potty training front. She stays dry now more often than not. She's gone 3 days of being dry at the most...then she peed her pants all freakin' day for 2 days. I guess that's how it goes for awhile, but she's doing better! She never poops in them at least, unless she's got diarrhea, and I can't really blame her for that. I'll be glad when we're done with the potty training stuff.

As for the smoking, today was the 4th day of trying to quit. We have figured out that we can't go all day yet without having one or maybe two cigarettes. We're working on day at a time! We decided one or two a day after what we smoked before ain't bad at all, and it keeps us from killing each other!

I like how my blog looks is not my color but it was the closest thing to purple that blogger had that I liked. I got the new template at wasn't too hard to install and they had tips for doing other stuff to, like removing the blogger navigation bar from the top. If you're looking for a change, you should definitely check it out! As for Tigger in my profile pic, I'm a Tigger fan, so it makes the place more "me". I've got different Tiggers for when the holidays or seasons change.

That about wraps it up for now! :)

Monday, November 21, 2005

Making Some Changes...

So, what do ya think?

I Hope Y'all Won't Be Too Disappointed...

I didn't quite make it a second day smoke-free...I had a cigarette...just one, but still. That's not too terribly awful is it? One cig in 2 days after smoking nearly a pack a day for years? I've been a smoker since I was 19, and I'm going on 34 now. Sigh...I'm trying not to beat myself up about it. I'm disappointed in myself.

The urge was just too much. The need was just too much. I was okay for the rest of the night after having a far this morning since putting on a fresh patch I am okay. MrKB had one too, so it wasn't just me. He'd gone even longer without one though...he smoked more than me, and had been a smoker longer than me. I hope he does okay today while he's out on the truck where he's used to smoking the most. It's gonna be tough for him today, I'm sure.

Oh, and to help keep me from being tempted again, the cigs were not my usual brand or type (I was a menthol smoker)...don't know if that matters.

Anyway, so now y'all know what I look like! My profile pic isn't very good, I know. In case ya missed it, I'm the one in the red sweater. :)

On to Day 3...

Sunday, November 20, 2005

2nd Smoke-Free Day and Some Pictures

Well, I DID IT!! I made it through a whole day without a single cigarette! Thanks to the patch, which definitely seems to help. Thanks to all of you who left comments of encouragement and support, I REALLY appreciate it. On to Day 2!

Now, for some pictures!

There's a few more, but I'll post them another time. :)

Saturday, November 19, 2005

I Got Tagged! Again...

Actually, I got tagged by Signgurl a few days ago, and almost forgot about it. In an effort to keep my mind of smoking (almost 6pm now and still no cigs!) I was trying to find something to do. So, here we go!

Rules are as follows: Remove the blog at #1 from the following list and bump everyone up one place; add your blog to the #5 spot.
oh so wonderful
Here's Your Sign
MamaKBear's World

Next: Select 5 new friends to piss off.

What were you doing 10 years ago?
I was settling into the newlywed life. I got married on Valentine's Day 1995...was working as a cashier in a grocery store.

What were you doing 1 year ago?
Riding on a big rig with MrKB and traveling all over the U.S. I really miss that sometimes.

Five snacks you enjoy:
Chips and salsa
Avocados...yep just avocados, with a little salt and pepper. current fave is Honey Bunches of Oats
Beef Jerky

Five songs to which you know all the lyrics:
The Thunder Rolls--Garth Brooks
Papa Don't Preach--Madonna
Two Pina Coladas--Garth Brooks
Livin' On Love--Alan Jackson

Five things you would do if you were a millionaire:
1. Buy my dream truck-a purple Dodge Ram (full size, with a Hemi!)
2. Buy MrKB the motorcycle he's always wanted.
3. Pay all of our debts, and the debts of our parents.
4. Buy a really nice house...big, but not huge.
5. Travel the world.

Five bad habits:
1. Smoking...working on that one!
2. Drinking too much Coke.
3. Cussing
4. Procrastinating
5. Not cleaning my house enough...let's just say it's lived in, but it's not filthy!

Five things you like doing:
1. Having sex
2. Fishing/camping
3. Reading in the bathtub
4. Counted cross stitch
5. Going to casinos

Five things you would never wear again:
1. Bellbottoms
2. Anything 70s just about...what were they thinking?!
3. Parachute pants (remember those??)
4. Neon
5. Pigtails

Five favorite toys:
1. My computer
2. My husband (sorry Jenn, me too!)
3. My scrapbooking stuff
4. Dancerella doll...ok, so this one's from when I was a kid..anyone remember her?
5. My "Friends" DVD collection

So there ya have it! :)

So Today is My First Cigarette-Free Day

I got up this morning at about 9:15. It's now going on 1:00pm and I haven't had a single cigarette. Got my patch on, and it seems to be far. Unfortunately, I want to eat something! Haven't had anything to eat either, so that could just be hunger....but I worry that I will try replacing cigs with munching all day. Sigh...

MrKB ran out of cigs before I did, so he's been without any since about 6:30am Friday. So far, so good. We're not too terribly cranky and irritable yet, but I'm sure that's coming.

Good thing Aunt Flo's already been here and gone now...don't need my hormones going all nutso right now.

Friday, November 18, 2005

Yesterday Was a Shitty Day

So we went to court yesterday. It did not go well.

First, our caseworker was late, and we had to wait for the judge to come back to our case. She finally showed up and our whole group went up before the judge. 5yr old's foster parents showed up to this one, but not the last one. I wish they hadn't showed up at all, because they are the reason it didn't go well.

We listened to things be covered regarding the kids' older sister who lives with her grandparents first. Then the judge moved on to things regarding 5yr old. THEY got to say that they were his foster parents and that they want to adopt him. Next thing we knew they were saying to the judge "Well, THEY smoke, and every time he comes back from a visit with them, whether it's 4 hours, 8 hours or whatever, he comes back smelling like smoke." Yeah...bullshit. "He has asthma, and we had it under control, but since he's been having visits, he's kind of regressed and has to have medication more often."

LYING MOTHERFUCKERS! For one thing, and we've said it over and over, and told the judge this too...WE DON'T SMOKE AROUND HIM AT ALL!! For another thing, us being smokers is not necessarily the reason his asthma has been worse lately. Lots of things can trigger asthma attacks...changing weather being just one thing. Playing hard, like little boys do, is another. I really don't think he's been going back home smelling like smoke, I think they are grasping at straws to try and keep him, and the fact that we smoke is what they are latching onto.

Unfortunately, this judge is biased against smokers. She claims that she has health problems now because her parents smoked, and blah blah blah. So she lets it be personal. I know judges are supposed to be fair and impartial, but this one is not. As of right now, it seems she is automatically siding with his foster parents. We didn't hardly get to say anything in front of her, except for trying to defend ourselves against what they claimed. Nothing was even brought up about the two girls we already have. They were there with us, and unless she's blind, she could see that they are happy, healthy, and well taken care of.

His counselor was there too, and she spoke up saying "I've been working with him trying to get him to understand the concept of moving over to them (us), but he is just not grasping it. I really feel that if he was moved from where he's at it will be very traumatic for him." She also made some remark about he thinks he came from his foster mom's belly. Where the hell did he get THAT from?? Somebody had to have told him he did. Has he completely forgotten about his birth mom? Maybe, but still. As for moving him in with us being traumatic...please. It may be rough on him for a bit, but he's 5! Kids are resilient, he will be fine! There's still the concern about him "bonding" with me. Give him a fucking chance to! He wasn't "bonded" with his current foster parents BEFORE moving in with them, now wa he? NO. That happened after him being there for awhile and being around them EVERY DAY. Personally, I don't think the problem is so much with him being attached to them, as it is with them being attached to him. Plus, they get 900 bucks a month in foster care payments through him, and I think they don't want to lose that money every month.

His therapist also told the judge that "He has a lot of health problems and I feel that 'they' can better take care of his medical needs." THAT pissed us off. What does she think, we're a couple of young, stupid kids that don't have a clue what to do if he has an asthma attack? I'd bet my husband knows more about it than his foster parents do. He has it himself, and his brother has it, and spent lots of time in the hospital as a child because of it. When MrKB was just a kid, maybe 10 years old, he had to learn about all his brother's medications and how to give them if he had to, including giving him shots. We can take care of his problems just fine, and told the judge so.

After everything was said, the judge seemed to only be focusing on the fact that we smoke. It didn't matter to her that we only smoke outside, or that we don't smoke around 5yr old. Nothing was done really except make us look bad and made to feel like we're criminals or something because of a bad habit we've had for years. Things are going to remain the same for now, and we go back to court on January 19th.

But wait! There's more!

After we all left the courtroom, the caseworker was saying on the way out the door, that she was extremely upset and led us down the hall to talk to us. We thought she was mad about how things went down in there, but then she turns to us and starts jumping all over our asses about the smoking thing. "There's no way in hell they're going to give him to you as long as you're smoking...We've told you over and over again not to be smoking around him...blah blah blah." So we got mad and said "We DON'T smoke around him, We DON'T smoke inside...What part of that are people not understanding??" MrKB smokes in our van going to and from work, but that's it. Not when there are any kids in it, only when he's alone. Can't do that anymore, either.

Oh, and while she was chewing our asses out, the attorney that was in the courtroom and heard it all, came up to her and pulled her over to the side. We didn't hear everything, but we got the impression that he wasn't happy with the way things went down, and he said something about bias and that he's going to the D.A. about it. Hopefully he's on our side regarding all that crap.

Then MrKB's Mom and one of the child advocate workers got into it about the fact that SHE smokes. The worker was saying that she wouldn't be allowed to be around 5yr old because she smokes. OH! OH! Mom was PISSED! The worker was basically saying that the fact that Mom smokes could be reason to keep 5yr old from being placed with us. Now THAT is not fair. People that don't even live where he's possibly going to be placed shouldn't even have any bearing on the case. Mom told her it's not fair to punish US because SHE smokes. That whole scene was drama we could have done without.

So, anyway...We were already talking about quitting smoking. Now it is official. We are tired of being made to feel like criminals. We are tired of his foster parents focusing on it. We are quitting smoking and then they won't have a leg to stand on. By the time we go back to court, we will be non-smokers. We went out to lunch after court, then went and got the patch and lots of gum.

We are still angry, though. We feel like we are being FORCED to quit, instead of quitting on our own terms. Nobody should be made to feel this way.

We do want these kids. If quitting smoking is what it's gonna take, then so be it. We are committed to these kids. And I know, it'll be better for our health...we'll save a lot of money...yadda yadda yadda. Believe me, we've heard the lectures.

Sigh...I had a killer headache all the rest of the day until I went to bed last night. I didn't get to everyone's HNTs, but I tried.

I'm gonna need all the support I can get y'all.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

My 5th Half-Nekkid Thursday!

I wasn't sure what I was gonna post for this week's HNT...MrKB said he's always loved my eyes, and thought that would be a good one to do. So I thought I'd give it a try. If one of my eyebrows looks kinda funky, it's due to an eyebrow waxing incident back in cosmetology school a long time ago...the hairs grew back white! Ack...

Anyway, here ya are, my eyes!
If you wanna get in on all the Half-Nekkid fun, ya gotta go see Osbasso, Grand Poobah of HNT!

Just click on the red button in my sidebar. Happy HNT!

My Tarot Results">

You are Temperance

Time. Ages. Transformation. Involuntary change

Temperance is another card of aspiration, but also of much change. It often represents complex situations. Positively, you can harmonize contrary forces.

Temperance is, on a surface level, about "tempering." The original pouring from cup to cup might have been about cutting wine with water. So this is a card about moderation. There is, however, another angle to the card, that of merging seemingly impossible opposites. Sagittarius, the centaur, merges beast and man into a unique creature. And then there is the bow and arrow, one moving, one stationary, working together to point the way. Temperance may be, at first glance, a warning for you to "temper" your behavior, to cut your wine with water. But it may also be a reminder to that seemingly irreconcilable opposites may not be irreconcilable at all. Belief that fiery red and watery blue cannot be merged may be the only thing standing in the way of blending the two. Change the belief, measure out each with care, and you can create otherworldly violet.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out. the results to post, but picture didn't work this time. Bleh.

*edit* Apparently the link to take the test isn't working from here either...If you'd like to try it, head on over to The Chronicles of's in my blogroll over there-----> This is a cool test made by CyberWarlock himself, so go! Give it a try! I know others have been able to post their results without the probs I've been having. :(

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

My Life

This Is My Life, Rated
Life: 6.1
Mind: 6.3
Body: 5
Spirit: 6.2
Friends/Family: 6.6
Love: 9.1
Finance: 2.9
Take the Rate My Life Quiz

Saw this at Kali's

Monday, November 14, 2005

My Weekend

Let's see...Friday MrKB and I took the kids to Grandma's for the night so we could go out...spent WAY too much money, but had a good time.

Since she watched ours, we took hers for Saturday. After we went and picked up 5yr old for his visit, we swung by to pick up our niece and nephew. Visit went fine, except when it was time for him to have his breathing treatment we found that the medicine for the machine wasn't there, so we ended up having to take him home early so he could get his medicine he needed. We kinda think his foster mom only acted like she was putting his medicine in there, so we would HAVE to bring him home early. He was not happy he had to leave, and cried about it.

Sunday we had a "family team meeting" with our counselors and such. Found out that 5yr old's foster family DOES still want to adopt him and they are going to fight for him. I hate people that lie. They told us they wanted to make this as easy as possible for him and that they weren't going to fight for him. We had already figured for ourselves that they were probably only saying this so we'd let our guard down. I've got news for ain't happening!! We are a lot smarter than they are apparently giving us credit for, and will be contacting that lawyer for sure now. DAMN IT!!! We go to court on the 17th about the kids...probably nothing really will be done at this time, but we'll see what happens. How can they not want him to be with FAMILY that loves him?? Not just MrKB and me, but his grandparents, cousins, etc. Ugh...

Sunday night around 10:30, 2 yr old started puking. Fun. She's 2, so she would just pretty much let it go right where she was at. Guess who got to clean it up after every time? Yep, me.
I did two loads of laundry in the middle of the freakin' night just of stuff she'd puked on. Two sets of bed stuff, four pillows, 3 blankets, and 2 sets of jammies. I finally just left her in her pull-up so I didn't have to keep taking pukey clothes off of her. After she puked on the couch, I got smart and laid down towels under her so if she did it again it'd be on towels and not the furniture. She had a trashcan next to her to puke in, but I guess she didn't get the concept. I tried to tell her "If your tummy is gonna come out your mouth, put it in the trash" but nooooo.

I was in a pretty crappy mood yesterday...short-tempered and cranky. Figured it was PMS, and I was right. Aunt Flo came to visit this morning....the bitch! I'm not feeling real well today either...hope I'm not getting whatever 2 yr old has. My tummy didn't feel so well last night either, but I think that was more from having to keep cleaning up puke. Ugh.

So friend Warlock over at The Chronicles of Chaos made a little quiz that I took today, but I can't get the code for my results to copy and paste so I can show y'all. Get on over there and check it out, he worked hard on it!

Saturday, November 12, 2005


Why the hell does my blogroll keep disappearing?!?! How am I supposed to keep up my blog reading????

Friday, November 11, 2005

Flip, Pick, and Riff

So, it happened...I got tagged by Goobergrl in this game, started by lecram. (Sorry y'all I haven't figured out how to link in my posts yet.) Anyway, here it goes... ... As per the rules on lecram's blog:
1. FLIP: open a dictionary and point to a word.
2. Type the word into Google images.
3. PICK an image that strikes you.
4. Write a 10 line RIFF of the image.
5. Use the word or the meaning of the word at least once within the first 5 lines of your riff.
6. Tag 3 other bloggers on your list.

My Word: fair
It was that time of year again, time for the county fair! As I made my way to the entrance gate I could already smell the familiar smells of my childhood memories. Turkey legs, corn dogs, funnel cakes...YUM! It seemed that no matter how old I was, every year I felt like a kid again the minute I walked through that gate.

Only this time, I had kids of my own. "Mommy! Mommy!" they say..."We want to go ride the Tilt-a-Whirl!" Ugh...I hate that ride! It never fails to make me so dizzy that I throw up whatever delicious fair food I'd already eaten. Oh well, the kids hadn't eaten yet, so I guess it was okay for them to ride. "Okay" I said, as I took hold of their hands, "You can ride it, but don't blame me if you get sick!"

Ok...I tag: Signgurl, Hillbilly Mom, and mdrock! Have fun!

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

My 4th Half-Nekkid Thursday

Wow..fourth one already?! Time flies, huh?

So, anyway...I got this tat when I was in San Diego with my fiance at the time...He was in the Navy going through his 'A' School. I love koalas, so naturally I picked this one. Yes, his name was, that's not my husband's name. Shouldn't have done it, I know. BUT, My Granddad's name is Jim and HE was in the Navy, so now I just say it's in honor of him! LOL

Gonna get the name part covered up eventually...just gotta figure out how. Any ideas? Oh, in case you wondered, it's on my upper left thigh.


To find out all about HNT, click the red button on the right and go see Osbasso!

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

100 Things You Might Not Know About Me

Ok, so I've had a few shots of tequila, and now I'm bored 'cuz everyone is asleep, and it's not even 10pm yet. Soooo...thought I'd see if I could come up with 100 interesting (or maybe not) facts about me. You might already know some of them if you read my blog regularly, but remember I'm coming up with 100 things people! I'm bound to not make a lot of sense sometimes.

Anyway, here goes: (no particular order...just as they come to mind)

1. My favorite animal is the Koala...hence the "KBear" part of my blog name.

2. I got married on Valentine's Day 1995. I chose this date for two, 'cuz I always wanted to be married on that day, and two, because MrKB sucks at remembering dates and I knew he'd never forget an anniversary since VDay is advertised like crazy starting the day after Christmas.

3. I have one younger sister. No brothers.

4. When my sister had a baby before I did, it REALLY depressed me. Especially since she always said she didn't want any kids. Then she got pregnant again like a year later. I felt like I got punched in the stomach when Mom told me.

5. I got pregnant once...way back in 1993...had a miscarriage on August 8, 1993...haven't been pregnant since, and not for lack of trying! (Funny how a woman will remember dates like that, isn't it?)

6. I was in a relationship with someone else when my husband and I started seeing each other.

7. He had gone into the Navy...MrKB was my friend that obviously developed into something more...he made me realize that the guy I was with I didn't want to marry.

8. I don't regret my decision to leave him at all. He wasn't abusive or anything, just not the right guy for me to spend my life with.

9. I have never cheated on my husband. I don't have to, he gives me everything I need.

10. I trust my husband not to cheat on me...every now and then he goes out with "the boys" and they will end up out at a titty bar...his friends are always surprised I'll let him go. I trust him...he goes out, has a good time, a few drinks, may get a little horny, but he always comes home to me and wants to play!

11. I played the violin for six years as a child. From 1st grade until 6th. Sometimes I wish I hadn't quit.

12. I am mostly deaf.

13. I lost the hearing in my left ear at 3 yrs old due to pneumonia. When I was 10 the hearing in my right ear just went...doctors don't know why. I just remember being in 4th grade, sitting at the back of the classroom like always, and suddenly realizing I couldn't hear what the teacher was saying up in front of the class...I could see her talking, but couldn't hear her.

14. I have worn a hearing aid in that ear for almost 24 years now.

15. I can only hear very loud sounds without it, like a door slamming.

16. I often wish I didn't have to have it.

17. I have perfect eyesight though!

18. Once, not too long ago, I was getting ready to take a shower...had just gone to the bathroom and flushed the toilet..was taking off my hearing aid, and it fell into the toilet WHILE IT WAS STILL FLUSHING!! OMG I freaked out. Very expensive accident. The type of hearing aid I wear is like 1,200 bucks.

19. I went to speech classes for two years after I lost my hearing, so I could learn to lip-read and not forget sounds that are hard for me now, like S's.

20. I don't know sign language except for the alphabet and some words or phrases.

21. I was reading by the time I was 3 years old. Mom says she came into my room where I had the comics page of the paper, she thought I was just making up words then realized I was actually reading.

22. I watched a lot of Sesame Street and the Electric Company (anyone remember that show?) when I was little.

23. Reading and spelling always came easy for me in school.

24. When I was in 1st grade I was ahead of the class in reading, and there was an old-fashioned claw foot bathtub in the middle of the big room of four divided classrooms...While the class worked on their reading I would go kick back in the tub full of pillows and read.

25. To this day I read in the's one of my favorite ways to relax.

26. I suck at math and history.

27. I worked in a daycare for 3 years. I had the 4-5yr olds. 15 to 17 of them 40 hrs a week.

28. That job taught me patience. Was also the best job ever.

29. I am very shy when I first meet people. Unfortunately I've been considered "stuck up" because of this.

30. I didn't become shy until after I lost my hearing. Kids can be cruel.

31. I hate mean people.

32. I hate brussels sprouts.

33. I hate cooked carrots. I will even pick them out of a pot pie before I will eat it. Raw carrots are fine.

34. I REALLY hate hominy. I had an aunt that forced me and my sister to eat them once. My mom never fixed it, and I didn't like it.

35. I played soccer as a kid...missed a lot of the games due to chicken pox though....played it in high school, but quit 'cuz the coach was an asshole.

36. Speaking of high school...I lost my virginity when I was 17.

37. I don't regret it...I was never one of those wait til marriage people.

38. I don't believe in the Christian God...he's failed me too many times. I believe in a higher power though, just not necessarily "God". Please don't judge me on this one.

39. Speaking of religion...I hate it when someone has a "holier than thou" attitude and tries to push their beliefs on me. Hello Jehovah's Witnesses.

40. I only have a couple of close friends.

41. I guess it's just hard for me to let people in.

42. This list is gonna be harder than I thought.

43. I hate winter and cold weather.

44. But I like to snow ski...too bad you can't in Oklahoma.

45. Last time I water skiied I tore a muscle that took forever to heal.

46. I've never broken any bones.

47. I cracked my ribs on the side of the bathtub once though.

48. I was born with red hair.

49. Then it turned blonde.

50. Now it is (natually) brown.

51. I have green eyes. I think they are my best feature.

52. I collect Beanie Babies. I have well over 300 of them. I don't collect them as fanatically as I did before I went on the road with MrKB...I got behind then.

53. MrKB is a truck driver.

54. When he worked for Swift, before all this with the kids came up, I rode with him.

55. I loved the traveling, and not knowing where we'd go next.

56. I have been to almost every state, with the exception of North Dakota, Alaska, and Hawaii.

57. My favorite state is New Mexico.

58. I also love the desert.

59. I like to crosstitch.

60. I love to go camping at the a tent, not an RV.

61. I love to go fishing, but I don't like worms, or actually touching a fish...I saw my uncle get finned by a fish when I was a kid...It made him bleed, and I could tell he wanted to cry. That makes an impression on you.

62. If I have to touch the fish I catch, I have on gloves.

63. I will not swim in the ocean...too scared of sharks.

64. I don't like to swim in a lake either...I don't like when I can't see what's in the water.

65. I have had sex in a hot tub with snow on the ground.

66. Stephen King is my favorite author.

67. I collect hardcover Stephen King books.

68. My Mom made me take typing in 7th grade. This was before the days of the internet.

69. I'm glad she did.

70. MrKB and I are in the process of trying to get our two nieces and a nephew adopted.

71. We are currently foster parents.

72. If you read my blog, you already know that.

73. In a way, I'm glad my BIL is a drug-addicted screw up...I am getting the kids I wasn't able to have myself.

74. I love stand-up comedy...I love to laugh.

75. My favorite comedian is Bill Engvall from the Blue Collar Comedy Tour. (Here's your sign!)

76. I also like Jeff Foxworthy.

77. I consider myself a redneck woman.

78. I used to live in a small town of 1,002 people.

79. When I drink, I like to drink tequila.

80. I hate beer.

81. I wish pot was legal.

82. Yes, I used to smoke it.

83. My parents smoked it when I was a kid.

84. I never claimed to be an angel.

85. The Breakfast Club is one of my all time favorite movies.

86. I used to have a crush on Emilio Estevez.

87. I am an 80's child.

88. I used to be Madonna's biggest fan.

89. I like country music now. Still love 80s music though.

90. Tears for Fears was the first concert I ever went to. I was in 7th grade.

91. Poison used to be my favorite band. I had it bad for Bret Michaels.

92. I love long hair on a guy...I think it's sexy.

93. I hate facial hair though.

94. I love being a Mommy...even if I didn't have them myself.

95. When I was younger I wanted to be an archaeologist.

96. Now when I grow up I want to be a Kindergarten teacher.

97. I am addicted to Coke Classic...I drink at least 6 cans a day.

98. I found out I am allergic to sulfa drugs after getting a nasty kidney infection.

99. I love cats...I had a cat for five years, from the day she was born...she rode on the truck with us...we had to get rid of her because of 5yr old's asthma and allergies. 2 yr old is allergic to them too. I really miss my kitty...she was my baby before I had any babies.

100. If Osbasso ever comes by my blog, I wish he'd say so. I guess I understand if he doesn't make it to my little place...he's got a longer blogroll than me.

WHEW...I'm done!

Breaking News

I really didn't know what to call this post, so it's just "Breaking News"...LOL

Anyway, we didn't end up talking to our lawyer yesterday. The DHS caseworker is supposed to be putting together a "Grand Staffing" meeting for the 14th...this is a meeting with EVERYONE involved, except maybe the judge. We're going to see how things go with that first, then if we need to we'll get the lawyer involved.

The therapist...I really don't know about her...Seems like everytime we go up there for a counseling appointment, she only talks to us for a few minutes then leaves the room for most of the hour to let us "play" with 5yr old. I know she's just going on the other side of the one-way mirror and observing. Fine. But is it really necessary every time we go to these appointments?

She doesn't get to see me interact with him much. It's not that I don't, it's just I know she's watching, ya know? MrKB does typical boy stuff with him while we're there. What am I gonna do? Ask him if he wants to play Barbies?? It's a little more difficult for me to find something to do with a little boy. I'm used to girls! But I digress...

The therapist keeps saying "they" are concerned about my "bonding" with 5yr old. Apparently he will talk about MrKB, but doesn't say anything about me. SO???? To them this means we're not bonding, I guess. I think they are making a big deal out of nothing, myself. I'M not worried about "bonding" with him...Once he lives with us permanently, I will be the one he is around most of the time, since MrKB goes off to work everyday. We will bond just fine. What difference does it make if it's now or after he lives with us?!? I don't understand people sometimes. It's not like I don't do anything at all with this child. We decorated Halloween cookies, we've colored in color books together...etc. Personally, I think this therapist has developed too much of a bond herself with 5yr old and his foster mother. She keeps saying how "attached" he is to his current foster mom. Yeah, of course he is, he's been there a little over a year. But I bet she didn't have to "bond" with him before DHS moved him in with HER. Hell no...she did all the bonding AFTER he was there. One thing I should have thought to mention to the therapist...5yr old has NEVER talked about his current foster mom when he is with us. Wonder what she would have thought about that!

Anyway...MrKB also called and talked to the DHS caseworker yesterday. We have been doing Saturday visits for quite awhile now with 5yr old...was supposed to be some 4 hr. visits, then some 8 hr. visits, then some overnights, then moving him in with us. Well, this past Saturday we find out that she had not informed (supposedly) his current foster mom of this. She had gotten all bent out of shape when we didn't have him back 4 hrs later. Apparently they'd had plans to go out to the lake. Well, sorrrrry! Don't make plans on Saturdays, stupid bitch...they know that's OUR time with him. SO....MrKB told the caseworker that she needs to step in and make some sort of official arrangement on the visits so they don't have all the control. She said that she'd really like to see him start spending weekends with us. That'd be great, so hopefully that is what it will be from now on, us getting him all weekend.

She also said that she is trying to find 5yr old a different therapist. She feels like this one is leaning too much toward his foster parents. She is not, I guess NEUTRAL enough for this case anymore. I tend to agree. We'll see what happens with that.

Didn't get a chance to ask her about what her reasoning is for wanting us to take more parenting classes. She didn't bring it up either. Hopefully it won't come up anymore, because we don't need them!!

That's all I got on that front. As for today, I need to clean my house and do some laundry. Bleh...*whine* I don't wanna!! MrKB ain't gonna do it guess I gotta. Sigh....After we'd got home from the counseling, I was in a pissy mood the rest of the day. I think I still am kinda. Maybe tonight I'll have me some tequila after the girls are asleep....maybe before...after all MrKB is perfectly capable of getting them into jammies and to bed!

Sunday, November 06, 2005

Saw This at April's...So Close It's Spooky

Dominant Personality: Calm
Good Traits: You prefer to be exclusive,
limiting yourself to only a few good friends
that you've probably known for a long time. You
don't date around either; you settle down with
one guy, and you never get used to heartbreak.
Bad Traits: You're someone who doesn't want
to be bothered with everyone else's problems.
You'd rather kick back and enjoy life at a slow
pace. You tend to fall behind and procrastinate
from being too laid back.
People see you as: Shy, slow to catch on,
and a daydreamer. People think you're in your
own little world and are tenative to approach
You're Most Like: Fear. You distance
yourself from the people who aren't in your
circle. The difference is that you aren't
paranoid about this.
You Need More: Understanding. There are
other people out there worth knowing. It's okay
to broaden your variety.

What's your dominant trait? (10 unique results)

My Weekend

Saturday was a busy day! First we went and picked up 5yr old for a visit...then we went across town to a Mickey D's to meet up with the kids' older 11yr old sister and her Grandpa to visit with them for awhile. By then it was almost 12:30pm and we were takin' our time since it was such a beautiful day. We had gone out to the parking lot and loaded all the kids in the van, and we were standing outside having a cig before we took off...All of a sudden, MrKB starts to say something about his Mom, then goes "OH, SHIT!! Mom has a wedding to go to at 1:00!! WE GOTTA GO!" ( I had told her we'd watch her kids while her and hubby went to this wedding...had completely forgotten this fact.)

So we jump in the van and stop by a phone to call her and tell her we're on our way...nobody home. Crap. Get home as fast as we can and hope she's not standing outside our door with the kids, being pissed off at us for not being home. Got Mom...oh man, she's gonna be maaaad! Then we hear the kids calling us...Mom had left them with our next-door neighbors until we got there. Okay, no problem. Gathered 'em all up and went inside for a bit.

Now we've got 5 kiddos with us. Decide we're gonna go to the park for awhile...well, I was hoping MrKB would take them and just leave me and baby girl at home, but no such luck. Then he tells the neighbor kids they can go with us...2 more! So now there's 7 kids. Sigh...We go to the park for about an hour and a half, kids have a great time, then we go back home.

By the way, sometime between this weekend and last weekend 5yr old learned to ride his bike without his training wheels! I'm so proud! Seems he pretty much jumped on one of his foster brothers' bikes and just took off, so we took the training wheels off the bike he has here. : )

MrKB had to take 5yr old back to his foster home by 6...he went by himself and I stayed back with the rest of the kids in case his Mom came by to pick them up. They got there about 6:45.

Got them to return the favor by taking our 2 little ones for the night, so MrKB and I got to go out just the two of us and have some fun. We went out to Shawnee to the casino with about 100 bucks and played for a few hours. Lost all our money, but still had a good time. Headed back home and prolly got back around 12:30am. When we walked in the door, MrKB says "Listen, do ya hear that?" I said "Yep, blissful silence!" Last night was the first time in quite awhile that I got to take off my hearing aid to sleep for more than just 3 or 4 hours...usually I have to put it on when MrKB goes off to work at 5:30 in the morning so I can hear the girls over the baby monitor. I went to bed around 1:30 or 2am and didn't wake up until almost 11:30! Amazing...

Not only that, but when I woke up I could smell bacon cooking! Mmmmm...nothing like waking up to that particular smell! I had to go to the bathroom, so I went, then I go into the kitchen to get a can of Coke. (My caffeine...hate coffee) He looks at me and says "You ain't supposed to be up yet! It's hard to fix you breakfast in bed if you're up already!" Awwwww, how sweet is that?!? Trust me,'s a rare thing!

Went to go pick up the girls from MIL's around 1...Decided to see if we could find a few garage sales around, but didn't really find any. I suggested going to the mall, even if just to walk around and look at stuff. Did see a belly ring I was a purple butterfly w/ dangling gems, but it was 14 bucks and I just couldn't do it right now...bummer. I have a birthday coming up pretty soon, maybe MrKB will remember I wanted it and go back and get it for me.

Stayed at the mall 'til they closed at 6, then went and ate at a Chinese buffet for dinner. Got home by 8:30, put 2 yr old on the potty (amazingly, she was dry!!) then got her in jammies and to bed. She was exhausted after all that walking around, and besides, she hadn't got her nap today. Got baby girl changed into jammies and she is in the Pack-n-Play just babbling away to herself. Hopefully she will be asleep soon too. MrKB turned on the t.v. to watch some Dungeons and Dragons movie on the SciFi channel, but he's all crashed out on the couch now...sound asleep...remote control in his hand.

Tomorrow we've got to call a lawyer to see about getting the adoption process started on the girls and to see if he can help move things along with the 5yr old. Also going to be calling the caseworker's supervisor. We're tired of her crap, and her saying one thing then doing another. Did I mention she wants us to take more parenting classes? WTF?!? So we also want to find out her reasoning for that. We may possibly see if we can just get a new caseworker for the kids entirely. I'll let ya know how that goes...Oh yeah, we also have an appointment with 5yr old and his therapist tomorrow afternoon...Sigh...

Saturday, November 05, 2005

Baby Girl's Gettin' So BIG!!

Today is the first time baby girl sat up by herself for a good length of time! Before, she could sit up for a few seconds, then she'd tip over...Now she's figured out how to balance herself so that doesn't happen. She still doesn't get herself in the sitting position, but if you sit her up she does so well!!

Mama is so proud!

Friday, November 04, 2005

So It's Friday

I was going to have my friend and her boys over for dinner and spend the night tonight, but it looks like that's not gonna happen. MrKB just called a little while ago and he is still out in Ada, which is 100 or so miles away. He's still got two more stops to make after that, so he won't be home until probably 10:00pm. Poor guy...he goes to work at 6am! He has days like this at least once every other week. Just really sucks it's gonna be tonight...

Anyway, haven't posted a whole lot the last few days, so let's see what news I have...

Took our 2yr old trick-or-treating on Halloween. She was so cute! She wasn't quite sure what to think about it at first, but soon got the hang of it once she figured out she was getting candy by going up to these strange houses and knocking on the door. Whenever people would come to the door with a bowl full of candy and either give her a few pieces or just hold the bowl out to her, she started grabbing several handfuls...she'd get a handful, put it in her little bucket, then do it again a couple more times. I was like "Oh my gosh.." But most people just chuckled and didn't seem to mind. Guess that's what happens when you're 2 years old and cute.

Most of my week has been pretty boring...stay home, clean house, take care of the kids, cook, etc...

Last Friday we had to go to a birthday dinner for my to see all the relatives that you mostly only see at big family things, even though some of them live right here in the city. A funny thing that happened...MrKB was talking to one of my cousins outside while having a smoke, and found out that her boyfriend works at the same trucking company he does. This company is not a real big company, so it was one of those "small world" kinda moments.

Had the DHS caseworker come out the other day...Halloween, actually...she didn't show up until after 6pm, so we got a late start on our activities for the night. I wish she'd just rescheduled for the next day or something. Anyway, she talked to us about what 5yr old's foster parents had said...get this...SHE said herself that our home doesn't smell like smoke. But then a little later said "well, it kinda does smell like smoke a little bit". WHAT?!? I'd like to know HOW, since we smoke outside. I personally think she convinced herself she smelled it, because I've had several people come in to ask them if they thought it smelled like smoke and they all said no. I will be so glad when all this is over and we get these kids adopted and DHS is out of the picture.

Let's see...what else? God, I have such a boring life! If we had more than one vehicle, I could at least maybe go out and do SOMETHING with my time...go to the gym, maybe a movie now and then...something.

OH! I wanted to say a big THANK YOU to all of y'all that stopped by my place yesterday, and especially to the ones who left comments! Y'all are great! I really didn't expect such a response, and I am flattered, really! HNT sure makes me look forward to Thursdays...Oh, and I could have SWORN that I included info in that post for people to click on the HNT button and see what it's all about...but I had tried to post it sooo many times before I finally got the pics where
I wanted them, it might have been on one of the previous tries. Osbasso, I promise I will next time!!

Speaking of referring people...if ya haven't already, you need to get on over to Femi-mommy's blog and tell all about your fears for "Fears Friday"...I don't know how to link yet, but if ya click on "Random Thoughts and Confessions of an Urban Woman" over there in my blogroll, it'll take ya where ya need to go.

Sorry I really don't have much to talk about right now...not in a very good mood now anyway since MrKB called...he's had a shitty day and I just know he's gonna be in a shitty mood when he finally does get home. I was also hoping we'd be able to go buy some steaks for the grill for dinner tonight, but I guess I will be fixin' something here instead.

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

My Third Half-Nekkid Thursday

For this, my third HNT, I decided to jump on the "be bold" bandwagon. By nature I am a VERY shy person, so this is truly brave for me.

I am not a "skinny bitch", and probably never will be. I'm okay with this, 'cuz I have a wonderful husband who loves me just the way I am! He came up with the idea for these pics, and he took the pictures.

So, without further ado...I give you...MY BELLY! Please be gentle! :)


Yippeee! I finally figured out the blogroll thing...See?----> Ain't it pretty? LOL
Boy, I've got a long wonder it takes me so long to read 'em every day!

I also managed to get one of those HNT buttons up. Now when I post HNT I can refer people to what it's all about. :)


This is Driving Me Nuts!!

Every time I look at my blog now I think to myself "What the hell did you think you were doing?!?" All I wanted to do was get a blogroll of my own so I could put all these wonderful blogs I read every day on my page instead of in my Favorites.

Not only did I not accomplish this, but now everything that was on the right is way at the bottom....nobody's gonna scroll all the way down just to read that!

Please, PLEASE....If someone out there knows how to fix this, please tell me! And if anyone wants to volunteer to add blogroll for me, please go right ahead! If you don't know how, but know someone who's a wiz at this kinda thing, send them my way. I would greatly appreciate any help!

*Blink Blink*

Just stopped by to see if I had any responses yet....LOOKIE THERE!!! ----------> Everything on the right has MAGICALLY reappeared where it should be!!! YAY! That looks much better!

I wonder what happened....

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Well Now I've Screwed It All Up

See what happens when I go trying to change things on my blog?!?

Tried adding blogroll...first time I tried, nothing happened...this time I tried pasting the code in my links section as advised by Tammy, and apparently I must have put it in the wrong place again!! Or something...

Now my picture, profile and everything else on the right side is waaaay down there....Help!