Sunday, August 27, 2006

Spent My Weekend in the Hospital

Yep, me. In the hospital! Friday I woke up to my belly hurting, and it hurt all day long. Wasn't getting any better, and wasn't a pain I'd had before. Finally, that evening we decided maybe I better go to the E.R. Good thing I did...turned out to be acute appendicitis, and I had my appendix removed around midnight Saturday.

First surgery I've ever had, and I also ended up staying a couple days in the hospital afterwards. My white blood cell count was highly elevated and they had me on IV antibiotics. Besides my appendix being swollen and close to the point of bursting, I also had an infection. Fun weekend...NOT!

I'm at home now, and recovering...just wanted to post real quick and let y'all know. I'll be ok...MrKB is taking off of work tomorrow and was due for his vacation the first week of September, so he's going to see if he can just go ahead and start it early, so he can take care of the kids while I recover from surgery. I can't pick up Meghan or anything right now, which sucks...she doesn't like it either.

Hope y'all had a better weekend than me!

Friday, August 18, 2006

I am SO Freakin' Excited!!!!

So excited I almost can't stand myself!!

Yesterday I was over at MySpace just passing some time....I was bored, so decided to do a search of a couple names of people I know and haven't been in touch with for awhile. First couple I came up with nothing...then I put in the name of a cousin of mine who lives in Maine. I've googled him several times over the years, hoping to find out what happened to him. We lost touch years ago, and it always made me sad.

Well, I FOUND HIM!!!!! That's not the best part, though! We talked until 2:30 am on Yahoo last night, just kinda catching up. We talked about him coming to visit me here in Oklahoma sometime, and he goes "Well, I have the next 11 days off with nothing to do until school starts again." Next thing I knew, we were both checking flight prices online, and then he actually booked a flight, printed out his ticket, and WILL BE HERE TOMORROW!!!! This is BIG, y'all!! Do you realize it's been 21 YEARS since we've seen each other????

Damn, I'm excited!!! I can't freakin' wait!! We're gonna have a blast together!

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Yeah, I Know...

I pretty much suck at posting with any kind of regularity lately...but I try! Really I do! The last few days I've been over at MySpace messing around making a new layout. Check it out if you wanna, I'm pretty proud of myself, 'cuz the background pic on the layout code didn't had been removed due to high bandwith usage, so I did my own. I also made my own Contact Table and Online icon thing. I SO rock! LOL I've actually been learning a little bit about HTML stuff while trying different things. You can see my page here and I had so much fun doing mine, that I made an account for MrKB and did a page for him also, that you can see here. Please take a look and let me know what you think! I also made the Contact Table on his, too, as well as the Extended Network banner and the background. Yep, I'm proud! :) (Plus if you go look you'll get to see pics!)

So, anyway...I was reading a few blogs, and I've been seeing lately quite a few bloggers with a button in their sidebar saying they are honoring a particular person who was a victim of September 11th. Chris is the latest one I noticed, so I decided that I would participate also. I will be honoring Daniel Lugo with a post of my own on September 11th. He was 45 years old at the time he was killed at the World Trade Center.

The idea behind this project is to have one blogger post for each of the victims of that day. There were 2,996 victims, so we'll need 2,996 bloggers to commit to posting about a certain person that lost their life. I was number 1,881 to sign up, so we still need a lot more to get involved. Such a simple thing to do, won't you sign up too?? You can go here to read the blog that's been set up about this touching tribute project, and go here to sign up for your own tribute. See my cool button over there ------> with my links in the sidebar? You can get one of those for yourself too. C'mon, y' won't take a lot of time or effort! Please join us in remembering those who died!

As an Oklahoman, from Oklahoma City, who will never forget April 19, 1995 when the Murrah Building was bombed, New York and September 11th touched me deeply, and I am honored to be a part of this project. Won't you be, too?

Thursday, August 10, 2006


No...not my adoption of the girls, I don't have any news on that other than I finished the paperwork for the "application for adoption" and got it sent in. Now I hurry up and wait. Andy's foster parents' lawyer says this should all be done by the end of the year. So hopefully by Christmas, they will be ours forever!

All this adoption stuff has got me to thinking about my own. You see, the man I call "Daddy" is not my biological father. Even so, he is definitely Daddy! He's been there for me since I was younger than Meghan is now, and he means so much to me. He adopted me when he and my Mom got married, and gave me his last name. His is the name on my birth certificate where the Father's name goes.

I've known since I was a kid that he wasn't my biological father. My Mom told me that the man who got her pregnant when she was 19 took off when she told him, and never wanted anything to do with me. She's even told me that when I lost my hearing in my good ear at 10 years old she got in touch with him to try and find out some medical history, and she says that he STILL didn't want anything to do with me, 10 years later.

Forgive me if this post doesn't always make sense. I've just got these thoughts going around in my head, and I'm trying to get them out. I'm grown up now...34 years old and have never met my biological father. He's never contacted me. I don't even know if he's tried to find me, but he's got a better chance of finding me than I do him. Why? Because my Mom REFUSES to give me any information about him other than his name is "David" and he had red hair. That doesn't help in a search, that's for sure.

Believe me, I've TRIED several times to get her to give up more information, but she just won't!! She's stubborn and has her reasons, I suppose, but I HAVE THE RIGHT TO KNOW!! She told me one time when I was asking her that it would really hurt my Daddy if I was to go looking for biodad. So a bit later I sat down with Daddy and talked to him about it. Maybe it hurt him a little to know that I wanted to know, but he didn't show it, and he told me he understood. He said that he thought it might hurt my Mom more. He gave me his blessing, but he wouldn't give me any information about biodad either. He might honestly not know though...but he said it wasn't his place to tell me, that it was something my Mom had to do.

I don't know.

It makes me angry with my Mom. Why can she not see and understand that I need to know? I have the right to know where I "come from". My biological roots. I don't look like my sister at all, and only a little like my Mom. My sister is lucky, by the way, Daddy IS her she KNOWS where she comes from. Half of my family tree I'm only related to by marriage!

I wonder if I look like him....I wonder if I have other brothers or sisters out there somewhere...I wonder if they know about me...I wonder if he ever thinks of me, or regrets not knowing me...I wonder if he's ever tried to find me. (I've spent hours on adoption search boards though, and have never found anyone looking for me.)

Trying to get my original birth certificate would be difficult. Adoptions are closed here in least ones from when I was born. To get my original certificate, I would have to go to the courts and try and get my records opened. If it ever comes to that, I will, but I hope it doesn't.

My Granddad is not my Mom's biodad either, but at least she KNOWS who hers is...though I've heard stories that he's not a nice man at all. But still, she knows.

It's not her right not to tell me. I should be able to make the decision of whether or not I want to contact him. And if I do, and I find out myself that he doesn't want a relationship with me, so be it. I just want the chance to know.

My girls will know they are adopted when they are old enough to understand. I will tell them who their bioparents are and how they came to be adopted. I don't want them to find out on their own when they're teenagers or something that the people they know as their Aunt and Uncle are actually their parents, and Mom and Dad are really their Aunt and Uncle. I know that if I grew up and found out something like that it would make me very angry. Being partially adopted myself, I feel they have the right to know. Right now, of course, they aren't old enough to understand.

Ugh...Every time I get to thinking about this, I get mad at my Mom. I've tried MANY times to get her to give me information, but it gets me nowhere. She just can't, or won't, see things from my point of view. I'm thinking about asking my Grandmother, but I don't know if she'll tell me either. Can't hurt to ask.

Thanks for listening to my's been on my mind for awhile lately, and I needed to get some things out.

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Horses Need Help!

I came across this post over at Kidd's about Blaze's Tribute, an Oklahoma-based non-profit horse rescue group. She received the following email from them this morning:

Blaze's Tribute Equine Rescue
August 8, 2006

Blaze's Tribute Equine Rescue, Inc. is a non-profit Organization that strives to improve Neglected, Starved, and Abused Horses' Lives. We provide Equine Rescue regardless of age or disability. We provide Rehabilitation, Education, and Adoption Services. We promote and teach horse care and humane, natural methods of training for horses.


We are in desperate need of donations. We are currently caring for 32 horses at this time. Hay prices continue to increase. Unfortunately, with the drought-like conditions, more and more horses are being neglected and leaving us at full capacity. Blaze's Tribute Equine Rescue is currently spending $440.00 a week on 8 Round Bales of Bermuda Hay, and $210.00 a week on 1 ton of Grain. We have limited funds available to barely meet our feed needs, therefore, many medical conditions are left untreated due to the lack of funding. We are extending an Emergency request for Donations in order to get us through the remainder of the summer. Please consider sending any amount possible, as anything will be greatly beneficial and much needed.

We also request that you share this with all your friends and family. Blaze's Tribute Equine Rescue needs Donators, but we also need Adopters. We have many wonderful horses available for immediate adoption. Please tell everyone that you know that may be seeking to add a horse in their family to come visit us. You can view all of our horses available for adoption online at: You can also place your donations online through PayPal.

Donations can be mailed to:
Blaze's Tribute Equine Rescue
17667 Markita Drive
Jones, Oklahoma 73049

Remember, all donations are tax deductible according to the current IRS regulations. Donations of Hay or Grain are also accepted and welcomed. You may contact Natalee or Shawn Cross at 405-399-3084 or 405-615-5267 or e-mail at



I wish I could send them something to help out! Best I can do for now is spread the word. MrKB has always wanted to get a couple of horses of our own someday...they are his favorite animal! Until we have a house and not an apartment, that will be impossible. Please help these people if you can, and pass the word along!

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Difficult Anniversary...

August 8, 1993...that was one of the worst days ever in my life...the day I miscarried the baby that took a year to conceive. I was about 2 months along, and lost it in the waiting room bathroom of the ER, since this particular hospital had me waiting over FIVE hours to even be seen. (My Dad was furious when he found out!)

So, yeah...It's been 13 years since that day, and it's still very painful. More so considering I haven't been pregnant since.

Excuse me while I go cry now...

Saturday, August 05, 2006

Sorry, Sorry, Sorry!

Life gets in the way sometimes, doesn't it? Sorry for the lack of updates since my last post! I am here now, and have been catching up on reading your blogs. Takes quite awhile to go through that blogroll of mine!

Anyway, part of my absence was due to things beyond my control. My friend's boyfriend updated some software on my computer. I was running Windows98se, and he installed XP for me. Trouble was it wasn't working right at first...I could get online, but could only go to two or three sites before I would just get "page cannot be found" over and over. I would have to reboot my computer only to have the same thing happen! Believe me, I was VERY frustrated!! He came over again and got it working like it should (though there are still issues with it and IE...I haven't been able to leave comments on a few of your blogs, for one thing.) THEN I lost my internet connection for almost a week!!! Ack! Dang bills...

Things with this XP are gonna take some getting used to! Some stuff looks different, like the Blogger Dashboard I'm typing on now. Fonts are different for the most part, at least to me. I am...not much going on in my life really. Well, I am having some problems with this girl who is supposed to be my best friend, but I don't want to get into it here because she knows about my blog. Kinda sucks, 'cuz it would help to vent to y'all. I vent to MrKB, but he got all mad at me the other day because I was pissed off all day long and he's the only person that was here to talk to (really he's my true best friend...check that, pretty much my ONLY friend) and I guess he got tired of my bitching, 'cuz he got the attitude that he didn't want to hear anything anymore. He said, "You've bitched all fucking day about everything, you go through all that's bothering you, then you start all over again." Well....EXCUUUUUUSE ME for thinking I could talk to you! It wasn't like I was bitching AT him, it was more like TO him. I guess I can understand though. I WAS in a very foul mood that day, and you know how it is when you are around someone else that's in a bad starts to affect your own mood.

I just discovered a few minutes ago, that Meghan has two more teeth coming in! There's two more on the bottom front that I can just barely see, but they're there! :) She's had more teeth start to come in this past month than any other so far. These two will be her 7th and 8th. I really need to get out her baby book and write this stuff down! I'm glad I have a blog so I can go back in my archives to check dates on some things.

There's a new casino in Norman, OK called Riverwind. It is freakin' HUGE! We've been twice now, and it's not bad. It's got thousands of slot machines, lots of blackjack and poker tables, a couple of sit-down restaurants, along with a Burger King, Taco Bueno, and a couple other little fast food places right there in the building. Also has a theater for performances by bands and such. They have Pat Benatar coming soon, and also Jewel, the Commodores and others I forget right now. I'm hoping maybe my favorite comedian, Bill Engvall will be on the list before too long. He does shows a quite a few casinos around the country, so who knows?

I don't know what else to blog about right now. I am fine, the girls are fine, no new news on the adoption front at the moment. So I will end this post here and hit publish. Thank you to all y'all who left comments asking about me, and thanks Velma for keeping me in the loop! ;) Big hugs!