Thursday, September 28, 2006

On Being a Mom...

I found this the other day over at my friend Bekah's, and I just had to repost it here myself. I'm also gonna show y'all the newest pics of my girls along with it.

On Being a Mom

We are sitting at lunch one day when my daughter casually mentions that she and her husband are thinking of "starting a family."

"We're taking a survey," she says half-joking. "Do you think I should have a baby?"

"It will change your life," I say, carefully keeping my tone neutral.

"I know," she says, "no more sleeping in on weekends, no more spontaneous vacations."

But that is not what I meant at all. I look at my daughter, trying to decide what to tell her.

I want her to know what she will never learn in childbirth classes. I want to tell her that the physical wounds of child bearing will heal, but becoming a mother will leave her with an emotional wound so raw that she will forever be vulnerable.

I consider warning her that she will never again read a newspaper without asking, "What if that had been MY child?"

That every plane crash, every house fire will haunt her! That when she sees pictures of starving children, she will wonder if anything could be worse than watching your child die.

I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylish suit and think that no matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother will reduce her to the primitive level of a bear protecting her cub. That an urgent call of "Mom!" will cause her to drop a souffle or her best crystal without a moment's hesitation.

I feel that I should warn her that no matter how many years she has invested in her career, she will be professionally derailed by motherhood.

She might arrange for childcare, but one day she will be running into an important business meeting and she will think of her baby's sweet smell. She will have to use every ounce of discipline to keep from running home, just to make sure her baby is all right.

I want my daughter to know that every day decisions will no longer be routine. That a five year old boy's desire to go to the men's room rather than the women's at McDonald's will become a major dilemma. That right there, in the midst of clattering trays and screaming children, issues of independence and gender identity will be weighed against the prospect that a child molester may be lurking in that restroom.

However, decisive she may be at the office, she will second-gue
ss herself constantly as a mother.

Looking at my attractive daughter, I want to assure her that eventually she will shed the pounds of pregnancy, but she will never feel the same about herself. That her life, now so important, will be of less value to her once she has a child. That she would give herself up in a moment to save her offspring, but will also begin to hope for more years, not to accomplish her own dreams, but to watch her children accomplish theirs.

I want her to know that a cesarean scar or shiny stretch marks w
ill become badges of honor. My daughter's relationship with her husband will change, but not in the way she thinks.

I wish she could understand how much more you can love a man who is careful to powder the baby or who never hesitates to play with his child. I think she should know that she will fall in love with him again for reasons she would now find very unromantic.

I wish my daughter could sense the bond she will feel with women throughout history who have tried to stop war, prejudice and drunk driving.

I want to describe to my daughter the exhilaration of seeing your child learn to ride a bike. I want to capture for her the belly laugh of a baby who is touching the soft fur of a dog or cat for the first time.

I want her to taste the joy that is so real it actually hurts.

My daughter's quizzical look makes me realize that tears have formed in my eyes.

"You'll never regret it," I finally say. Then I reached across the table, squeezed my daughter's hand and offered a silent prayer for her, and for me, and for all the mere mortal women who stumble their way into this most wonderful of callings.

Please share this with a Mom that you know or all of your girlfri
ends who may someday be Moms.

May you always have in your arms the one who is in your heart.

Now, with all that being are the ones that are deeply in my heart, even if they didn't come from my womb...I am still the one they know and call "Mommy."
Enjoy these new pictures, taken just two days ago. :)

Look how much she's grown since her 1st
birthday back in April! Size 18 months clothes barely lasted her the summer, she's already getting into 2T's! Good thing she's got hand-me-downs from big sister Destiny. :)


Katie said...

Beautiful daughters! I love the pictures of them ! Thank you for sharing! I hope you are holding up alright. Hugs! and prayers!

Monica said...

Absolutely beautiful pictures! Your daughters (for yes, they ARE yours) are so beautiful.

Still thinking of your family and your MIL.

Today's post? So very true, isn't it?

The Real Kidd said...

Oh they are getting so big! They are so pretty! You are one lucky momma.

Chris said...

The girls are just so precious and cute! Have a great weekend honey.

Mel Chickk said...

What a beautiful post. Brought tears to my eyes.

The pictures of the girls are just beautiful. I especially liked the last one, of Destiny looking up. I think its because I have one of my daughter when she was little with the very same pose and it was always one of my favorites of her.

Keeping the family in my prayers. Hope you get some good news soon.

The Girl said...

Gorgeous girls Kbear ..

((hugz)) to you for staying strong


SignGurl said...

Lovely girls MamaK! They are lucky to have a momma like you.

Samantha Alice said...

Not being actually born of your body doesn't make them any less your flesh and blood once love is there.