I hope everybody had a good weekend! Mine wasn't bad, just filled with different emotions.
On Friday my Mom called with some surprising news. My Uncle Jimmy, who's been living in Australia, was in town for a visit. He's one of my favorite uncles and I so rarely get to see him, I was very happy to hear he was in town. We went out to lunch with my Mom, Jimmy, and my sister at Golden Corral. Got caught up as much as we could over the happenings of the last few years. Apparently he is working on moving over to Thailand, where my Uncle Richard has been living the last year or so. I asked my Mom "Why Thailand?" It seems it's pretty cheap to live over there, so that's a big factor. Jimmy has also been thinking about moving back home to the States in the next year or so. I really hope he does!
On Saturday, Meghan reached another little milestone. She can clap her hands now, and it's so cute! I gotta remember to write that down in her baby book, and try to get a picture of her when she's doing it. Still no teeth yet! At this rate, they'll probably end up coming in all at once!
All that was good stuff that happened. What I'm going to share with you next is not exactly bad...more like very sad.
On Friday we went and met with our lawyer. Found out it will cost us 1,500 bucks for him to help us fight for Andy. Plus, he needs it all upfront. Not good. He's still going to be working the adoption on the girls...DHS pays him for that, but not for stuff like fighting for Andy.
Then, Friday evening when we went to pick Andy up for his weekend visit, he was really throwing a fit...did NOT want to go with us. He didn't used to act this way. I don't know if it's because of something someone there has been telling him, or what, but the last couple of weeks he's been really resistant to coming for visits.
All the back and forth stuff is starting to really take it's toll on him, so MrKB and I have done a lot of talking this weekend. We've come to a decision, and it wasn't an easy one to make. We want what's best for Andy, and we don't want to make things harder on him. So we have decided that it is probably better to let him continue to stay where he is, and let the fosters adopt him.
It's not that we don't love him, or think we can't take just as good of care of him. We are just thinking of his best interests, and after much deliberation and soul searching, decided this will be best for him. We will continue to have visits with him, and we will make arrangements for a visitation schedule similar to what a divorced couple would do.
For now, we are going to cut back on the weekend visits. We think every weekend is too much for him right now, so we'll probably be doing every other weekend instead. This will also give us the chance to go out on weekends if we want to...it's easier to get a babysitter for just the girls than all three kids. We haven't got to go out, just the two of us in quite awhile, and we need it!
I suppose now the battle is over...I kinda feel like we're letting Andy down by not fighting more for him. He will understand better when he is older, but for now this is the best decision we can make regarding him. I found out something I didn't know before...the foster home he's in now is his 8TH one. I knew he'd been bounced around, but damn...poor baby. No wonder this whole thing has been starting to really stress him out and upset him.
I hope y'all aren't disappointed in us. It breaks my heart, but believe me, we talked about this A LOT, not just this weekend, but before too. Andy having his meltdown, was just kinda a deciding factor. We want him to be happy more than anything, and he is happy where he's at...he's had stability where he's at, and he needs that right now. I know that if we ended up with him, that EVENTUALLY he would be fine, but the adjustment might take him years.
Not sure what's going to happen next. Don't know if we'll still be having a mediation hearing or not....don't go back to court until April 24th. Hopefully, after the next court date we will be able to move forward on the adoption, and have it final by summer.
Sigh....at least I'll have my little girls.