Friday, January 20, 2006

The Saga Continues...

As my regular readers know, we had to go to court yesterday regarding the kids. Things went better this time around...I didn't end up leaving extremely upset and in tears.

If you saw my edit to my HNT post, you know the big news. The judge gave the OK for us to move forward on adopting the girls. As far as they go, it's just a matter of the adoption paperwork getting started and being filed. We go back to court in April, and hopefully one of the things that happens then is the finalization on the adoption. I'm so excited about this, and it takes a load off of my mind.

Andy's situation is still undecided. His fosters had a lawyer in court with them this time, which was not good. He was saying how attached they were to him and how they don't want to lose him...many tears have been shed in his office over this little boy, blah, blah, blah. He told the judge that they should move forward with adoption.

The judge didn't think it was fair that they had representation in court and we didn't. She ordered a mediation hearing and then we go back to court April 24th.

DHS caseworker told the judge she wants him with us. So that was good, at least.

Everyone kept going on about the "best interests of the child". Just because Andy may be attached to the fosters doesn't mean it's his best interest to stay with them. Though the judge did say that if they ended up with him she would court order continued visits. But's his best interest to be with actual blood family in my opinion. He's got that right. The right to know exactly where he comes from, and to know his extended family that loves him. We can teach him things that the fosters can't.

It's not like his family is full of drug fueled abusers after all. If it were a danger to him to be with us, then I could see him being permanently placed with them. But it's not the case. He's perfectly safe and loved with us and our families.

They tried to bring up the smoking issue again, but one of the lawyers that was there spoke up and said that smoking is not the issue here. We told the judge that we had quit since the last court date. Then the CASA worker brings up MrKB's mom again, saying that SHE smokes and is around the kids a lot. I spoke up and said she is NOT around them a lot, and when she is she doesn't smoke around them. Then MrKB told the judge that she is working on quitting also and we are supporting her and hoping that seeing what we've done will be a good influence on her. The judge nodded her head and nothing more was said about it.

So we will see what happens next. On the 25th, we will be going to a Permanency Placement Review at DHS. February 4th we have to have another "family meeting" with our family care provider, but this time the fosters are going to be there too. I really don't know what that is going to accomplish, and we're not real comfortable with it.

Oh yeah, in court the therapist also was saying that Andy's been having some behavior problems. I'm sorry but that can't be blamed on us. We've requested another therapist's opinion since this one is biased toward the fosters. Also, supposedly Andy has said he doesn't want to go when it comes time for visits with us. This was news to me since he's never showed any resistance to coming to our house. A lot of times he'll run right out the door to our van without saying goodbye even, and we have to have him come back and say his goodbyes.

We are getting so tired of all the bullshit. It's just getting ridiculous. It's ALMOST enough to make us give up and say fuck it, they can have him. That's what they are hoping for, I think. Ain't gonna happen!

Anyway, we are getting back in touch with our lawyer that we've talked to on and off about the case. Next time we will have our own lawyer in the courtroom and I bet they're not expecting that!

That's all I have to say!


Midwestern City Boy said...

It was proper of the judge to take issue with the fact that they had representation any you didn't, its still a good sign that shes not completely on their side.

But if they are bringing a lawyer then you better get one too. If nothing else, he's advising them on how to make the best case to the judge. As you have found out already, these things aren't completely logical. And maybe your lawyer could help you poke holes in their case.

You seem to have some people on your side too. So I am cautiously optimistic.

MamaKBear said...

We do have a lawyer, we've been talking to him off and on throughout this whole ordeal. He's been convinced that things look good for us and didn't feel his presence was yet needed in the courtroom. We're playing phone tag right now, but when we talk to him again, I'm sure he will be with us in court next time. We'll also have him come to the mediation hearing when we know when that is going to be.

I am cautiously optimistic too, but not too much. Thanks for all the support you've shown me through this whole deal. It really means a lot! :)

SignGurl said...

Keep on fighting the good fight, Dana! I know it's hard but you are doing such a good job. Keep your eye on the prize.

BTExpress said...

Just never give up. You have to just keep believing it will work out in the long run.

MamaKBear said...

Jenn & BTE: Thanks so much for the encouragement and support! We are not giving up this fight yet. We really believe Andy belongs with us and his sisters.

Kim said...

Congrats on the girls!!!!!!!

Keep your chin up with the Andy situation. When he's older he'll always know that y'all fought hard to get him.

Y'all are in my prayers.

Jillian said...

Congrats on the girls! Things will work out with Andy!

My prayers are with you!

addict said...

These kids are all so lucky to have you!

MamaKBear said...

Kim: Thank you sweetie! You're right, he will! I hadn't thought about it like that.

Jill: Thanks! Your support and encouragement means a lot! :)

Addict: :D I think I'm pretty lucky to have them!