Yeah...that last post was kinda depressing, wasn't it? I'm sorry you guys.
I am in a funk. I don't feel like even getting up out of bed in the morning right now, but I have to for these little girls. I'm sure it's probably a hormone thing, PMS ya know. Which when I think about it just depresses me even more because it means I'm gonna have yet another period that I don't want.
This happens every month. See, I still have hope that I will get pregnant (by some miracle) and every month when a period starts it's still like a punch in the stomach. I guess since it's been almost 13 years of this now I should probably accept the fact that it's never going to happen. But I just can't. I don't know how to explain it.
This has been a long and difficult road.
Please don't think that I don't realize I am lucky to be Mommy to Destiny and Meghan. I know this, and I am grateful for the chance. There is always going to be that want, that need, to have my own child. Unless you've experienced the heartbreak of infertility yourself, I don't think you can truly understand.
Okay, I'm gonna stop this here before I just cry like a baby. I want to leave you with something that was shared with me yesterday. Please click the link and check this out...maybe then you can begin to understand.