We went to counseling the other day already pissed off and expecting things to go lousy. Surprisingly enough, it went a lot better than we expected.
Counselor started off by talking with us privately, and the first thing she asked is how we felt about how things went at court. How did she expect us to answer??? Obviously we weren't happy about it...I more or less just let MrKB answer that one, for fear I'd say something I regretted. He basically told her we felt like we were attacked over the whole smoking thing. He told her that our smoking was not the reason we were there, that the kids were the reason for court that day.
She brought up the bonding with me thing again...said she has no concerns whatsoever about MrKB, but that she's still concerned about me. Big surprise. At least this time I was able to tell her about some of the things that he and I did together when we had him this last time.
Then we went to have our session with 5yr old. Basically all that happens then is we all go to the playroom and she leaves the room for awhile and leaves us to play with 5yr old. Then she comes back and she'll sit and ask 5yr old what he thinks of things, like staying at our house. He always answers "Fine." I don't know what she expects him to say, really. One very good thing that happened though, is while he was telling her about us watching "Ice Age" together...I had given him a bowl full of little marshmellows to snack on while we watched. He said, "And Mom gave me some marshmellows." She asked him who he was talking about when he said "Mom" and he pointed at me! I was surprised 'cuz I'd never heard him call me that before. She asked if he ever had, and I said that was new, but MrKB says he has before...usually when we're in the van, so I probably never heard him. So that right there was big points for me!
The overall tone of the session was good, and I left in a much better mood than I was when we got there.
One thing that's been happening lately since having 5yr old on these visits, is 2yr old has taken to calling me "Dana"....ugh....I've told her it seems like a million times that I am not "Dana" to her, I'm "Mommy", yet she's still doing it. Not every time, but often enough, and I wish she'd quit it. Anybody else ever have this happen with their kids??
4 comments:
It sounds like things went rather well and the 5 year old will find his way the more he is with you. I'm sure it's hard for him when the foster family is filling his young head with crap.
As for the 2 year old calling you Dana, I would just keep correcting her. She'll get it soon!
Keep your chin up :)
Sometimes it takes kids a little while to get things figured out. For a while both kids called me by my first name, principally because that’s how their mother addresses me. In the mind of a child, most people only have one name. Being both confuses them.
Lullah would sometimes do that when she was around 3. That's what everyone else called me, so why shouldn't she? I'd sometimes ignore her until she said Mommy or I'd act overly confused and she'd end up telling me I was a silly Mommy.
She sometimes still calls me Kim. Usually when she's being a goofball.
On the other hand, my brother in law (married to my husband's sister) calls his parents by their first names and apparently has since he was about 5. It's just weird.
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